A new client, Naomi, had been a director for nine years when Morgan, a long-time mentor turned sponsor, walked into the CEO’s office and made the case that Naomi was ready to lead the newly consolidated division. Within two weeks, she went from managing a team of 30 to leading 110 people across three departments. The promotion happened fast, and in the interest of speed, the compensation conversation was deferred. Morgan, now her boss, assured her it would come. That was five months ago.
When Naomi met with me, the weight of those five months was visible in her posture. “I keep waiting to feel ready,” she said. “It’s like I need more proof that I deserve the jump in compensation.”
The irony was that Naomi was extraordinary at advocating for her people. She could walk into any room and make the case for someone else’s raise with precision and confidence. But when the subject was herself, all that capability disappeared. The skill wasn’t missing. The permission was.
A CEO I admire recently shared that many women leaders have never been taught to articulate their value succinctly and convincingly. Naomi had spent her career believing if she worked hard and long enough, the organization would see her and respond accordingly.
But five months into her new position, she was stuck in the “self-worth” trap.
I named what I was noticing. “I’m curious about your reaction to the following: You build airtight cases for your people without a second thought. But when it’s about you, you seem to be looking for more evidence.”
She lowered her eyes and said, “That sounds about right.”
“What if you stopped trying to prove to yourself what you’re worth and started describing the value you create?” I asked.
Value is observable and measurable. It doesn’t need anyone’s approval, including our own. Worth is an internal verdict we hope others will confirm. It keeps us waiting for permission that never arrives.
Naomi stopped preparing a case for her credentials or potential, and started documenting her contributions. The decisions she made daily, the problems and possibilities only she could see, and the outcomes she and her team were already creating.
The following week, Naomi walked into her boss’s office with a different posture. Her approach was factual, clear, and direct. She was claiming, not asking. The conversation lasted twelve minutes. She got the raise, backdated to her promotion.
Value is observable and provable. Worth is just a story we tell ourselves while we wait.
THE QUESTION
What if you stopped asking whether you’ve earned the right to ask, and started describing the value you’re already delivering?
“Don’t settle for being less than you are. It won’t serve others and it won’t serve you.” – Peter Bregman