Evelyn had just finished presenting quarterly results to the board. Confident posture, crisp slides, and transparent answers to questions modeled executive presence.
Ten minutes later, I watched her in the hallway, cradling a colleague’s newborn. Silly faces, soft tones, baby talk and gentle swaying suggested a completely different person, except she wasn’t.
Both moments were Evelyn’s true self. She didn’t decide what to do with the baby. She simply shifted who she was being, and the rest flowed from there.
This is what I’ve come to believe after three decades of leading and coaching leaders. Eighty percent of your impact comes not from what you do, but from who you are being while you do it.
Your team feels your presence. All eyes are on you, and all ears are listening. They are always absorbing you. It is part of the content you deliver.
Evelyn didn’t learn baby talk in a workshop. She didn’t need a framework for holding an infant. When she shifted her way of being, from trust-inspiring to tender, she instinctively knew what to do.
As one of my clients put it: “I’ll know what to do when I’m being who I need to be.”
THE QUESTION
Before your next important interaction, what if you asked yourself not “What should I do or say?” but “Who do I need to be in this moment?”
Leadership isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou