Done by Me vs Done

Lina runs quality engineering at a company that makes surgical instruments. For years she was the only manager on her floor, with twenty direct reports and a phone that never stopped. Now there are three managers.

We spoke a month before she went on an extended leave she had planned for a year. Eight weeks away with her husband, without email access, and her badge deactivated.

At the top of Lina’s list to finish was scheduling one-on-ones with the six apprentices starting their rotation the week she left. Lina came out of this apprentice program herself, and had overseen it since she became a manager. She would not be there for nearly all of the rotation this year, and she wanted to meet the apprentices anyway.

I asked who would supervise the rotation. She said the two new managers owned it.

"So why the meetings?"

She thought about it. "I just want to make sure they happen.”

“It sounds like they will.”

“If it has to be done, I have to do it."

I repeated, “If it has to be done, I have to do it.”

She told me where that sentence came from. She was the oldest child in a house where, at nine years old, the laundry, the grocery list, and her younger brother's homework all landed on her.

That one sentence had built her career. It had also kept her at twenty direct reports for two years past the point where she needed help, because asking for help meant the thing might not get done.

She married a man who didn’t know his way around a kitchen. Early on, she stopped cooking for two months so he would learn. She watched him take forty minutes to do what she did in ten. He didn’t ask for help, and she didn’t offer. It was the hardest thing she had done at home. By the end of her experiment, he could cook.

"So you already know how this goes," I said.

She crossed the six meetings off the list. She typed the apprentices' names into a calendar event, so she would remember to ask about them in the spring.

I offered her one thing for the eight weeks of her leave. When you come back, find out who stepped up and who held back. You’ll discover what no longer needs you. Some of it will be a relief, and some of it will sting. Both are useful information.

That something has to be done does not mean it has to be you.

THE QUESTION

What are you still doing because, once, no one else could?

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you." — Anne Lamott

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dominick Bizzarro has spent three decades as an executive and coach. He helps humanistic leaders see possibilities in people and business.

Contact: dominick@innovatorswithin.com​

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